I have been living with my parents since I came home from college pregnant. At first it was nice because I needed to save money but since Jax has been born there is no such thing as saving money. I don’t make enough to be able to support him then have anything left over to save. Daycare alone is a paycheck a month.

I’ve been back with my parents for two years now. It was supposed to be only for a year but life happened and we got stuck here. Now the only reason I am staying is because I am waiting to be accepted into the Affordable Dwelling Unit program so I can afford to rent an apartment.

I applied for this program at the beginning of February. There has been road bump after road bump but this last one is really killing me. For reasons I cannot explain because of my new audience (yes – I heard your reading these) I need a Live In form to be signed. This form has to be filled about by one of these 10 places that they list such as doctors or schools. The form basically says I know that Lauren lives with Jax at this said address. Doesn’t seem complicated right?

The doctor is the first place on the list so that’s where I started… 3 weeks ago. Apparently they won’t sign it because they have no proof that I actually live there. After a full blown melt down in the doctors office, I’ve accepted that. So fine they can’t do it I get it but why are they on the list then?

Second option: daycare. No such luck either. After this one I drove around like a crazy person looking for someone that could sign it off this damn list. No luck. The alternative to this Live In form is to have this other thing that I don’t have. There is no way of getting it in a way that makes me feel comfortable. There are just somethings not worth risking in order for me to move out. This would be one of them. So my question is how are people that are in situations like me getting this shit signed?! I mean I can’t be the only single mom in this situation.. so where is everyone living? How are they making enough money to live anywhere in this area? Am I the only young single mom in this area?!

There is always the roommate option. The problem with this is I am not just going to move in with a boyfriend just to have a place to live. I would move in with our best friends but her parents would make her life a living hell. Not many people want to live with you when you have a baby. It’s kinda like having pets, it’s not for everyone. Again, that’s fine. I wouldn’t want to live with a stranger because of Jax. If it was just me that would be fine but this is different.

So we are stuck in between this rock and a hard place. Meanwhile other people are buying houses and cars pretending like we don’t exist. Seriously it’s fine this is the closest I come to the “you wanted this”  that people referred to when I got pregnant. I knew all this was going to be hard. I knew I was going to struggle. I knew there was going to be sacrifices I would have to make for Jax. I knew Jax was going to have to lack certain things because of his parents’ actions. It was only a matter of how well I could handle all of this.

 I feel like I am not handling this well. I feel like I am stuck. Not just in my house but in other aspects as well. But if there is someone whose going to pull a hail Mary out of their ass its going to be me. I have to…looks who’s watching.