Let me just start by saying I love what I do. I love being a single parent. In some senses I chose this life and I am so happy I did. But let me tell you unless you’re in it you really don’t know how hard it is.
One of my favorite bloggers wrote about how some people claim to be a single parent when they aren’t. For example divorced couples or co-parents. Being a single parent isn’t your relationship status with the child’s other parent. I’ve been thinking about the people who I know personally that claim to be a single and it actually pisses me off. If someone is doing half or part of the work you have it made.
You aren’t a single parent if you can drop off your kid with the other parent for either a few hours or a few days.
You aren’t a single parent if some is chipping in some way financially. Even getting child support and having visitation is somewhat debatable to me.
Being a single parent is being the only one to get up in the middle of the night.
Being a single parent is being the only one financially supporting your child.
Being a single parent is having to wait to take a shower or anything for yourself until after your child is asleep.
Being a single parent is not being able to hand off your child to your partner so you can run a quick errand alone or go to the gym.
Being a single parent is having to be the mom and the dad. And so much more.
I tell you this shit ain’t easy. I find myself complaining more than I would like to on a daily basis but that’s just because I got to get it out. In the moment it doesn’t feel like I am doing anything more than anyone else. I think you go into survival mode. But there is nothing more I would rather do for the rest of my life. Like this is it. This is what I’ve been waiting for.
As a parents we all really sacrifice but I think there is something so beautiful about single parenting. The relationship and bond with the kid alone is something that would make me ok with being single for the rest of my life. Because just when I think it is too much for me to handle Jax reminds me how sweet it is.
The morning snuggles from a half asleep toddler.
The sound of them calling you from their crib when they wake up.
Little hands in yours.
The sweet little kisses.
Being the only one they want to comfort them.
No matter what I do he looks at me like I am the greatest person alive.
He is how I survive.
“The truth is, every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married. I don’t know, but until your mom dies it seems like all the other women in your life can never be more than just your mistress.” – Chuck Palahnuick