Where oh where has my baby boy gone?!


Jax is 10 months old today. In just two short months I will be spending way too much money & will be handing him a smash cake to celebrate his first birthday. It’s the craziest thing to say I got pregnant two years ago. What have I been doing for the past two years? I can’t even really remember. All I know is before I knew it my little baby has turned into a little boy.


Jax doesn’t even look like a baby anymore! As of now Jax still has blue eyes but I see the green really starting to come out. He has 6 teeth already. He is getting the cutest blonde hair with a few curls in the back like mine was. He is almost out growing the baby section of clothes and going to start wearing toddler clothes. He is currently going through the phase where he hates to wear hats. I was able to capture a few pictures of him with a hat on those recently.

He doesn’t even act like a baby anymore. It is so fascinating to watch your little person develop into their personality. I feel like it was yesterday that I was scared to death making my dad drive us extra slow on the way home from the hospital. Now you are crawling up the stairs, starting to walk, eat anything he wants (including frosting off the pavement at your best friends birthday party) and communicating with me. Not just with a little bit of sign language but also with actual words. The cutest things he says are mama (obviously), yeah and bye. The best baby language form of communication he does is he raspberries when he is angry. He also will sign when he is all done.We are still working on thank you but I got him to do it once! It’s not just all the milestones that he is hitting. It’s also seeing little bits of myself & Jack in him that is really amazing to me.

He definitely doesn’t like the changing table at all anymore. He has replaced that favorite place with being in the bath. Or anywhere outside really.  But he absolutely HATES grass. Whenever he is on it he puts his hands in the air and won’t crawl. He does like leaves.. or at least to eat them. His favorite show is Mother Goose. He has watched it so many times that he even starts dancing and copying them.


Although he hasn’t let me feed him a bottle in months, he needs to do it himself, he is still a snuggle bunny. Last night I got so much love. We were laying in my bed while he drank his last bottle before bed. He rolls over to cuddle up next to me, puts his hand on me and says mama then falls right asleep. If I didn’t have to finish getting ready for the next day I would have just gone right to sleep with him for the rest of the night. It was the sweetest thing.


I am so thankful for daycare. I still have my issues with it of course but it has helped get Jax to progress way faster than I thought he would. He learned to walk, use a sippy cup, eat a variety of big boy food and sleep on his belly all from day care. But daycare has also kept me home from work, sent us to the doctors and urgent care more times in the last couples months than I have been in my whole life. I guess some of that is also my fault. Along with my very low immune system apparently I am also the most cautious and anxiety ridden person. I have thrown up more times in the last year than I ever did from drinking. Mainly out of worry and having a weak stomach now that my heart lives outside of my body.

img_1200Jax still sleeps in my room but I have gotten him out of my bed for the most part. I’ve gotten him down to only have 4 bottles a day and only occasionally having one midnight feeding. Now I can put him in my bed for a few minutes then right back into his bed. For weekend naps I still like to have our cuddle time though. Like I said he loves his sippy cup and is obsessed with water. It is so cute to watch him drink it especially from a straw. I’m not too worried about the whole transitioning to not eating at night and no bottles thing because those things seem to be slowly taking care of themselves. I am the most worried about transitioning from from formula to milk.


I love watching how he has created a special bond with my parents. Jax has his special games and things he does with grandpa, like watching sports. He loves playing with grandma in the teepee and showing her how big the baby is. How he recognizes and misses his godmommy and uncle Shane. Jax is starting to cry when godmommy leaves him at the daycare and steals away his bestfriend, which one makes him cry is debatable. But especially his adorable friendship with Killian. They talk to each other and light up when the other one is around. You can tell we aren’t forcing them to be best friends, they just are.

The other day Killian was so sick. More sick than he has been. But I brought Jax over and you would have never guessed he had been sick. He was showing Jax all of his toys and pushing him in his police car. It was so cute to watch them talk and interact with each other. One of Killian’s favorite things to do is to go up the stairs so he tried to get Jax to do it with him. Jax is still hesitant about the stairs. For now he will only go up when I am behind him – I don’t want this phase to ever end. I guess in baby language Jax told Killian he couldn’t go up the stairs or he was scared or something because two seconds later they had abandoned their stairs mission and Killian was leading him to do something else.



We just got into the Brand Repping world. For those of you who don’t know what that is it it is basically supporting small shops by wearing there brand and growing their business. He got his first 6 month brand enthusiast position and 3 month brand rep position. This is a perfect little mother and son bonding thing him and I can do together. I love buying him shit and taking pictures of him. He loves adventures and sweets. Double win for us both.

By far my favorite thing about Jax thus far is the spitfire yet lowkey Scorpio personality. He’s got a lot of personality and a lot of attitude but he doesn’t cry or complain unless he needs something. He generally lists when I tell him no. Although if really wants to go somewhere or do something he will just laugh and crawl faster as I yell no at him. The eyebrow raises, facial expressions, and mannerism are what make him. I hope he never loses these things. No matter what I will treasure them forever.


Jax’s mama.