Tomorrow is the first day of September.
It’s a new month and no it’s not a new me but that doesn’t mean I don’t need to re-prioritize. August is over and so is my relationship. Turns out putting what I thought was best for Jax wasn’t what was best for me. I was into the idea of having a male figure in Jax’s life but I didn’t realizing when looking for a dad maybe I should be looking for a husband first. Next time..if there is a time haha I got to put myself first in order to put Jax first.It all makes sense now. It’s time to spend some quality time with my chosen family. Along with grow into the mom life more before I add in more humans to our equation. (If anything we can just keep em on the side ya dig?)
September is a big month for me, my best friend and her little fam because my godson is turning one. And Jax will soon follow. Even typing that makes me tear up. Finding out my best friend and boyfriend wanted me to be the godmother of their baby is something I am never going to forget. I get asked more than I would like to if I would still have been friends with her had we both not had babies. Me being the godmother alone should have answered that question. At the time she found out I was probably more excited than her. I am going to forever spoil the shit out of that baby. Still excited as I was it was hard to believe she was going to be a mom.. correction we were going to be moms. I can’t believe it was a year ago I was typing up The day I realized I was REALLY becoming Jax’s Mama.. in this very seat. I can’t believe how much I love my godson and my son. I knew I was going to love them and that they would be best friends but I didn’t get it till I got it.
In the last 12 months I feel like I didn’t do everything I wanted to do. I rushed through some moments I probably should have took my time with because now I can never get them back. It’s so hard in the moment not to want the next stage. Then it’s there and you want the next one. Sometimes it’s hard to live in the moment as a parent since there are so many things going on but you have to. These are the things we’re going to remember. How exactly do I want to remember it? Our sweet babies are almost a year old and times not going to slow down just because I asked.
One thing is for sure this September I don’t want to sleep. I’m just saying that as a figure of speech! I don’t want to skip out on going on fun adventures with my son and godson just because I’m tired or there was too much drama. Now it is time to focus on them even when I don’t want to I need to. Go to more family dinners. Find more places to see. Rock in the rocking chair for five more minutes. Let them make a mess. Hop in the bath with Jax. One more of my french fries. Less Mother Goose. And so on I won’t bore you with all the silly mom things I do or want to do more than I already have in this blog.
With that good fucking bye August. Helloooo September.