Jackass that is..

The only word I can use to describe finding out Jax was going to be a boy is enchanting. His father on the other was not so enchanted when he found out I was pregnant. I had been trying to tell him for weeks but I didn’t just want to send an “I’m pregnant” text. He wasn’t an ass when I first told him he actually hugged me and told me “we were going to get through this” – whatever the hell that means. Little did I know what he had in mind for that. He didn’t believe it was possible that this could be his baby I tried to reassure him that it was his and even offered to do a DNA test. Days later he said he had talked it over with his dad and wasn’t going to take the DNA test because he would rather have his dad pay for my abortion than confirm it was his baby. His dad’s (my sons grandpa of the year) rationale was that he “didn’t need this kind of stress during exams and graduation coming up.” After that I was done with him, I didn’t ever expect him to stand up and be there for either one of us anyways he wasn’t mature enough to take on that kind of responsibility. So I started getting my ducks in a row, I graduated and started becoming Jax’s mom and dad all on my own.

On a Friday morning, about a month after graduation, I took my two younger sisters with me to my second ultrasound. From the minute I found out I was pregnant I was praying for a baby boy and in any minute I was about to find out. So many people had tried convincing me it was a girl so I was mentally preparing myself for that as well. The doctor told me it may be hard to tell the gender depending on how the baby was positioned but the first thing that popped up on the screen was a tiny penis. I was so excited the baby was a boy and I couldn’t wait to tell everyone at the gender reveal party that night. Baby boy had grown so much since the last time I had seen him. It was amazing to watch him move around covering his face, posing, and punching. It was even more amazing to watch my sisters faces see their nephew for the first time they were in absolute shock and amazement.

I had been thinking of names before I even knew he was a boy. I had a whole crazy list. Now that I knew I needed to pick a boy name nothing was sticking. I needed something with a good meaning, an awesome nickname and a name that wasn’t already in my huge family. I was pretty stuck on Brayden for awhile. My god mother had mentioned the name Jaxson because she wanted to use that name (she might not like that I stole it from her but I think it’s special she was going to name her kid that). I liked it but I never really considered it until I was looking up names with my sister Mary. We were going through all the names with the meanings but Jaxson meant “son of Jack” as a joke I said yeah son of a jackass. If it was going to be his first name I needed a good middle name. Liam popped up at some point it means “strong willed warrior.” I knew growing up without a dad he was going to have to be just that. So it stuck. It didn’t take me long to decide that was the name and even less time to decide I was going to tell people the name even though some people will say not to because no matter what people are going to still give you their opinions on the name. I haven’t gotten a bunch of bad reactions to the name Jaxson a lot of guys have said it’s really manly so that’s encouraging. Although a certain someone did try to say that I named my baby after a dog. My grandma had a dog named Jaxson but that never even crossed my mind when I was naming my baby. I was six when that dog was alive why would I even remember that!

To be honest I don’t care what anyone has to say about me naming my baby Jax. The most annoying part is when people will ask you if you have a name picked out I say yes and tell them then say “wellll what about …” It is so rude and annoying. So tip for all you out there with pregnant friends do not suggest names if the mother has a name picked out, if she asks for suggestions that’s a whole other story.

Important Jacks/Jacksons in my life: Baby Jax (my son, obviously), Jax Teller (sexiest member of SOA), Jackson Avery (the hot doctor from Grey’s Anatomy), Captain Jack Sparrow (my soulmate/ sexy pirate from Pirates of the Caribbean), & last but definitely not least Jack Daniels (whiskey).

XOXO Jax’s Mama